You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
