This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
