i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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