I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude i'm inner monologue high
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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