I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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