How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
