Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's official drugs can't kill me
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
