tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i came on her dog
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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