no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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