grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
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