Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize