I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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