I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Pants are for mortals
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize