We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
