He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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