I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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