i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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