she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
