I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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