at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
