grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
