Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize