How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My liver just had a heart attack.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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