Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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