Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All the doctor said was why
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
