He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
