I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
