A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
birth control should be required to get into college
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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