I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
