I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
