Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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