i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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