Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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