He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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