I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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