I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
ttyl tear gas
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
