Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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