My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
