If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize