so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
