Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
