His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You are a genius and a whore.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
