Dual....:-)
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
