Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize