the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
you never un-have a 4some
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
