Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
