what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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