none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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