You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I deserve this hangover.
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