hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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