i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
