i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
even my farts smell like vagina
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
