Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize