In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
