I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize