You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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