Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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