we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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