speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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