yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
