I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
