I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
