I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The best revenge is premature balding
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize