dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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